A Beautiful Disaster

Have you ever wondered if every step you take, you’re taking a step closer going six feet under? I don’t know how to put all this odd feelings into words, but it still sends a shiver down my spine thinking about the consequences. Sometimes I don’t know if I should blame it due to bad luck or is it true that my time is up? I know I’ve always said that I don’t fear death, and I’m always ready to just live life to its fullest; sadly I don’t think I’ve done enough.

Feels like I’ve not left an impact on the world yet, what if its my time to go?

Everytime I walk out of the shower, I resist touching my hair like how I used to.

Dear lord, how did it all get so wrong?

Would you forget me if I were to vanish?

Strand by strand, as I watch it fall. It sends this odd scary sensation giving cold sweat & one thing which I used to take for granted; yeah its beautiful, now not so much anymore. I’ve always held on so tightly to faith that things will always get better; have I not been doing it right? Its like a beautiful disaster; with everything looking so pretty and wonderful, but yet its still remarkably scarred. If I could paint it all in a picture about how dark and cold it feels when you’re left with no option but to go through with it; I’d paint a white canvas with splats of black paint in different shades.

Not every disaster begin with the letter D, but for mine; perhaps it does.